Getting to the root.  

Have you ever gardened and come across the same weeds time and time again, as if they know you hate weeding.  If like me you garden, you will know weeds are the bane of your life.

‘I’m sure I saw you last week,’ I say to myself, ‘and you know I’m going to get you, so why do you keep coming back?’

We use up so much energy doing the same thing over and over again…. aargh.

Our bodies are no different to our garden. If you are a gardener like me, well I am not sure I can call myself an avid gardener more of an accidental gardener, then you will know how it works.

Our bodies are like our garden. You weed and within a few weeks they are back again.. you spend your life weeding, unless you get to the root and get rid of the whole thing, root and all.  There are days when we don’t want heavy lifting and we just want the garden to look nice, weed free without any energy. I mean weeding is bad enough, let alone proper, full extract weeding.  Who actually invented weeds anyway..

 But here is the thing, we spend our lives weeding, doing the same thing over and over again, unless we get to the root. We might be in a relationship and the same things, the same discussions, the same arguments, and the same behaviours keep repeating themselves and while you sort it on the surface and it feels like everything is ok, the same issue and the same problems resurface, and more energy is used time and time again to resolve the exact same issue.  But the thing is, it never actually changes and the energy we use each time is exhausting. A bit like our weeds, removing the surface weed, but not truly removing all the root, and before you know it, it is back. But at the time we just don’t have the time and the energy for the heavy lifting, and we just want things to feel ok, with no stress and upset and mess…  to be honest who has the time for all that heavy lifting of roots. Weeding once is bad enough but doing it time and time again.. aaaargh!! I would rather spend time looking after the Flowers and making sure they are ok and thriving. Again excuse the pun.. just a coincidence my surname is Flower.

What are the weeds in your life? Is it your relationships, your business, or you?

Most of the time we decide to take the easy root (excuse the pun) and just do the quick weed, smooth everything over, sweep it under the rug and carry on because as women we have very little time, and we just want to keep everyone happy, most of the time because we are juggling so many plates.  Maybe you are the compliant one, or the pleaser or the one that smooths it all over, or the one that is just so busy and just reacts all the time and whilst the same issues and behaviours arise you manage to deal with it over and over, because you have mastered the art of weeding. And not only have you mastered the art of weeding , you might be able to do it and get an A*, because you have your routine down to a tee, and you are a ninja at behaviour response, sorting out disputes, arguments, so you have it covered, but each time you sort it, it comes back…. It doesn’t matter who we are a mum, a business owner, partner or friend, if you find yourself doing the same thing over and over, you have become a ninja weeder, instead of a root extractor.

Are you fed up with being a ninja weeder? 

Just like Julie, who kept going round and round in circles, exhausted using up so much energy, to the point her mind could no longer function, constantly being the ninja weeder, instead of turning in, to acknowledge the many miscarriages she had experienced and had no time to process them.

When we find the root of the behaviours, understand them and where they originate from, and have time and space to release them, or extract them, if we are still under the weed analogy, we don’t have to keep going over and over them. When behaviours and emotions are understood they no longer have power over us, and we can begin to remove the root and spend less time on the weeds and remove them and focus on the flowers. We can begin to focus on us because we have more room and more energy, which means life can begin to change.

Are you fed up of having the same conversations over and over and having to spend so much energy to resolve them? Maybe you are a business woman, a mother, a wife, or girlfriend, or friend and whatever relationships or situation you find yourself in, you find you are repeating yourself and nothing is changing, apart from the colour of your hair…

Ever had that moment.. exasperated, wanting to scream, head in your hands.. then maybe you know what I am talking about.

 When we turn in and find the root of our emotions, yes, our emotions, the outside world and our relationships begin to change, and suddenly you find you are not having to ninja the weeds, because they are no longer popping up at the rate of a whac-a-mole game. (If you have no clue what this is,  it is a game where moles pop up and you have to whack their heads to eliminate them at a fast pace. The object of the game is to get rid of them as quick as they arrive.. and whilst this may be invigorating because you are an amazing whacker, you have to ask yourself what is the point, because eventually the original high of whacking wears off and you are left exhausted with no energy or joy.  You may have had a dopamine hit but you will soon come down from that when you have to keep repeating yourself, wasting your energy.    

Who wants to be playing that game all the time. I mean it shows we can do it, and we can be the champion mole Whacker, but eventually we run out of steam.

 Energy gets stored within the cells of our body… the emotions of our lives get stored in our cells and bodies and we spend so much time focusing on the weeds, the symptoms, that we never get round to looking at the root. So we resolve the immediate emotions and we never look any further to understand from where it originates. We always try to fix or change from the outside. We spend so much time and money trying to fix the symptoms without looking inwards and making the change.

But how do we find the roots? How do we turn into our lives? Having time, space and energy allows us the time, but we have to slow down and find time to weed. aargh.. I know.

Maybe you have had counselling, therapy or  become aware of your behaviours or others and you have got it covered, but the symptoms keep coming back. Nothing gets quite understood. There is no change.

For many of us we store our suppressed emotions from childhood into our bodies and these clog up our system and prevent us from being curious, exploring and finding joy in our lives, and creating a life we love, so instead we do the only thing we can, we continue to weed, instead of grow, flourish and thrive and we become exhausted.

Have you ever been curious as to why symptoms and behaviours exists? and how you can make the change?