You know that feeling when you master the beat, you get a tune or you finally master the dance move, it feels amazing. When it has taken weeks of missing the beat, dropping the tune and you can’t quite get it and then suddenly you are there, the joy, the bliss. You want to stay there, and you are doing it over and over and then suddenly the beat changes and you didn’t notice because you were enjoying the moment so much you wish you could stay there.

In my new dance class I have finally mastered the moves, I am rocking it so I think, my peacock chest is out, and I am in full joy. So much so that my focus is not quite on it as it was before and then the moves change before I was quite ready. I laughed to myself because in that moment I felt like a toddler. wanting to show off my moves and feeling the vibe, but life told me not to get too full of myself.

But life changes and change is good because it keeps you focused, because with change we have to focus to reestablish the beat, the new tune, the new way, which keeps our neurons growing and developing, creating new pathways. Which means we evolve and grow.

Which is fine if you have had time to feel the joy of mastery. If you have spent long enough with you peacock chest out feeling great for a nano second, then it is ok, because you have spent so long on the bottom rung, learning, you want to feel confident.

Then change is a welcome change because you have exhausted the repetition of the beat and are fully ready to move on.

But change that happens regulary and too quick, never allowing you to revel in the joy of mastery, is just plain exhausting and makes us feel not good enough. We spend our lives in the stage of chicken legs as I call them, when you are floundering around trying to get the beat of whatever you are doing/learning feeling like a complete novice. Like a toddler starting out in life, learning to crawl, walk, or talk.

This stage takes a lot of energy, it takes a lot of focus, and there is as lot of failures of ups and downs, so it can be quite emotional, or cortisol provoking. You know that stress hormone we have, that ages us before we are quite ready. The tantrums the meltdowns that go with this learning most definitely should come with a mastery stage with a massive badge and a peacock chest before having to move on.

But spending time in this place and finally mastering your skill is so important. Because it builds confidence and neural pathways that become defined, until they become automatic. We want to stay here and feel mastered for a bit before we have to move to the next stage, back to chicken legs.

Inconsistent change rather than intentional change, does not allow us to reach mastery. It just keeps us trying to learn the chicken dance over and over, always trying to catch up and always using lots of energy, and never feeling relaxed, able, mastered or confident.

Inconsistent change, where we can never master the beat, is exhausting and never allows us to grow. If you grew up in an inconsistent environment where you could never feel the mastery or quite get the rules or the rhtymn, then learning becomes difficult, and we start to believe we are not good at learning or good enough, which is not the case.

But this belief can lead us to believe many things and stop us from the learning process. We fear starting, for fear of failure and mistakes and never quite getting to mastery.

If you find you are continually changing things or live in an environment that changes far too quick and you can’t quite feel any form of mastery, it is not you, it is or was the environment not allowing for slow consistent, repetitive steps.

Children that live in environments of chaos, no consistency, compassion or repetition, find it so hard to regulate and set their dial. They always feel like they are catching up, never quite getting it.

As adults we are often bored by consistency and repetition, always seeking the thrill or the next thing, because if we slow down it will feel emotional so we have to keep mixing it up, but it means we can never settle or relax and our children cannot set their dial in this environment, instead they will be reacting to your frequency.

If you grew up always reacting to the chaotic frequency around you, then you may have found it hard to create your ‘self,’ your inner focus and frequency, which gives you the control of the frequency dial. You would never have quite got your peacock badge.

Without our frequency dial, the self, when we are in the environment of others with chaotic dials or high freqencies we do not have a control button to adjust our emotions or energy, and instead we react to the frequencies/energy around us. This can make us feel very sensitive, or unable to manage emotions. We often lose ourself in other people and relationships, never feeling like we are creating our own life, instead getting lost in their energy or their lives.

But if you can find an environment that has mastered the frequency, of steady, consistent steps with repitition and an environment that can move and change at your pace, then mastery becomes inevitable because your energy is ready for the next move, the next stage and the next growth, while always reaching mastery and being allowed to revel in it for just a bit.

But there are times when we are just not ready for the change and didn’t see it coming. Loss forces us to change and grow. but how we manage that transition depends if the stage before was consistent and repetitive so we were mastered and ready for the growth or if our lives were chaotic and unpredictable never allowing us to develop a sold base, our ‘self,’ which we return to in times of transition and growth.

This is why people manage growth, transition and change so differently.

If you find change difficult, never feeling like you have mastered stages or steps of life, then you may need a safe, consistent, compassionate, repetitive environment to develop your self.

So many of us disconnect from our ‘self,’ in childhood to protect ourselves from the environment that we don’t get a chance to set our dials, so we never feel in control of our lives. Reconnecting to your ‘self,’ helps us to reconnect to our inner wisdom and beauty, the beauty that allows us explore and discover, knowing we will reach mastery.

I love these moments together.

Sharon x

Loveontheinside.com